Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum, Hi.

Salam Ramadhan al-Mubarak.

"This time, Ramadhan is totally different".. Aku post kan ke wall facebook. Semua yg kenal aku pasti faham apa yang aku maksudkan. Macam mana rasanya? mungkin zahirnya nampak biasa saja.. Tapi hati yang rasa berbeza, tanpa dia. Ahh, tak perlulah sedih2 kan? Aku pasti dia sentiasa bersama kami, cuma kami yang tak nampak. Salam Ramadhan bonda :) I love you..

Dia terima pinangan dia. :)

Hari ini..sorang lagi saudara aku bertunang. Nazrin. And he's only 21!! wut the hell???

Hahah...YES, semestinya aku cemburu...tapi bila difikirkan balik, buat ape aku nak cemburu? Enjoy laaa Jehrin melor. Banyak lagi masa kan? Calon? lupekan saje...dulu aku pernah cakap, aku akan terima sape saje yang masuk meminang aku. Tapi skrg aku sedar, itu kerja gila. huhu :P

Aku takut membuat pilihan yang salah..That's all. Kerna aku yang selalu disuruh pergi. Dan bila disuruh, aku akan pergi. Selalunya aku akan kembali, tapi kali ni? Ntah, terlalu mustahil :) Boleh dikatakan, I am happy with my friends besides me now. Enough. Aku tak boleh lagi terlalu taksub memberi peluang pada seseorang. Sebab mereka tak pernah tahu bersyukur dan mereka tamak.

Jadi, agenda hari ni ialah attending my cousin's engagement. Selepas itu, karaoke mungkin? I want to roll in the deep. hahaha.

Pendek saje entry aku arini...adekah sume ni gara2 entry ami? haha. takdelah. sori ami, aku gurau je. Kaulah best blogger. Aku kagum dowh. haha

By guys and girls..Love, Jasryn :)

Cerita Cita-cita

Bila besar nanti, nak jadi ape?

Persoalan yang selalu parents aku tanye time masih sekolah dlu. First time aku jwb soalan ni masa aku tadika dulu. Arwah mak cakap, aku selalu cakap 'siang2 nak jadi ustazah,tapi malam2 nak jadi penyanyi'. haha. ape punye jawapan la tue weeyh..dah mcm GRO plak malam2 ade activity lain. Jawapan kedua, aku cakap nak jadi pensyarah. Time tu dah sekolah rendah, jadi boleh fikir rasional la sikit..Pensyarah best jugak. In fact, masih boleh jadi kenyataan :)

Hari berganti hari, jerawat berganti jerawat. Berbelas tahun kemudian, aku disini, terpacak depan pc ni, dan sedang menulis tentang kisah cita-cita aku...Dalam sebuah law firm. Lagi 3 bulan dari sekarang, insyaAllah secara rasminya, aku akan jadi seorang Peguambela dan Peguamcara Mahkamah Tinggi Kuala Lumpur. Bunyinya macam gah kan? Mcm power gile jerr..Lawyer tuuu...huhu..Sampai kadang-kadang, orang lelaki takut nak dekat dengan aku..kate mereka, 'don't ever date a lawyer'.. Piiirah korang..Sgt cliche bunyinya. Tapi, aku peduli ape sbb aku rase aku x cool giler pun jadi lawyer. huhu

So, berbalik kepada cerita cita-cita. Macam mana aku boleh sampai ke sini? Is this what I want..? hmmm..I cannot say that this is exactly what I want to be. In fact, I never say clearly that 'I want to be a lawyer'. Aku nak masuk Akademi Fantasia..hehe.tett. Gurau jer..Tapi, maybe this is my destiny, and what I get from my hard work...I accept it and just go with the flow.

Begini kisahnya:-

Pada suatu hari yang tenang, semasa sedang mengisi borang UPU, saya dengan hebatnye telah memilih course perundangan sebagai pilihan utama.,tapi kenape ya? Sangat random. Pilihan kedua ialah English Tesl (walaupun grammar aku beterabor sangat) Ya, memang aku akui, aku rase profession ni hebat selain dapat mengharumkan nama kedua ibu bapa kesayanganku. Aku fikir, they must be proud of me one day...I want to be 'someone'. Abang2 aku dah jadi engineer, doctor..aku? mesti set ranking yg same dgn diorang...Adakah aku minat Law? Tak juga...Taklah minat sangat law sampai termimpi-mimpi aku pakai robe dalam Court...Aku sedar aku lebih cenderung dengan bende yang lebih kepada artistic. Tapi, it has been written that way, I cannot undo...kerana saat bergelar seorang peguam akan tiba tak lama je lagi. Eceh. Sob sob menetes ayaq mata jap..huhu. I think, lets finish this one first and then I will look forward to do other things. Life's short kan? So, lets do as many thing as you can.

Susah ke study law?

Memang tak dinafikan, study law sangat susah, lagi2 kalau kat UiTM sbb lecturer sgt strict dlm giving exam marks. Susah.... sebab there's a lot u have to know and understand. In fact, sampai tahap sekarang pon, banyak lagi yang aku tak tahu....Sesusah mana pon, aku merangkak sikit demi sikit sampai aku tak sedar yang aku agak hebat in my study. Ye, sy bangge. Every semester pointer sy 3 and above. hahah (ops, riak plak kejap) tapi sebenarnya, itulah motivasi pada aku. Setiap semester aku akan pastikan pointer aku tak drop. Kalau drop below 3, mungken aku akan rase kecundang,hehe.

Aku pun tak sangka and tak pernah terfikir, journey utk menjadi seorang lawyer ni sangatla hardcore dan panjang..Start dgn Matrik 1 tahun setengah, degree 3 tahun, LLB Hons 1 tahun. Perit sangat nak habeskan study ni...Sekarang tambah plak chambering 9 bulan..Arghhh slalu aku jerit kuat2 pasal ni. haha :P Pernah aku decide tak nak chambering and nak bukak my own bisnes iaitu bakery. haha. tak ade kene mengene langsung dengan law kan? Tapi aku suke cake....haha... Arwah mak memang menentang sangat. Dia pesan kalau nak buat apa2 pun, jadi lawyer dulu. Tu yg dia nak..So sekarang, Im doing this for her..

Kecelaruan memang selalu mendominasi fikiranku pada tahap ini..cewah, artistik tak? haha. Aku keliru, apa yang aku aim dalam bidang ni. Kerna skop kerjaya terlalu luas dan aku tak pasti jalan yang benar patut aku pilih....Criminal law? Banking? Property Law? Family Law? dan macam2 laws lagi laa.. Tapi, bila difikirkan, elok jika aku ikut flow dan destiny asalkan tak tersasar jauh. Aku minta Tuhan tunjukkan jalan yg terbaik untukku :)

*sorrylah, sekeping gambar pun takde utk post ni. Love, Jasryn :)

What I'll say

If I could turn back time, I will spend each and every second of my breath with my mother. Because I have been missing her so badly all this while and it kills me inside to wake up every morning knowing that she won’t be around anymore. That’s the saddest part in life. You who do not experience the same will never understand. Everyday, I notice that something is just not right in me. I know, I am feeling lost, but I deny my own feeling all the time. What options do I have? It’s been a while since I have the chance to call her ‘mama’ and I miss to call her again and hear she reply to my call. Do I have to say this everyday? Restless isn't it? No…. I won’t say it everyday. I let my heart speaks inside me. Then, only I know my sorrow, and you won’t notice.

Sabar itu Imanku

Assalamualaikum.

Life has been quite unfair to me in recent years. Some people are just too lucky in their life. They have everything they want, though they didn't deserve it at all. Yet, I am here, still struggling to suit myself to the biggest changed in my life. I too, have feelings. Why they treat me badly. Was it because I was being too nice to them? Was it wrong being nice? I just don't get it.

Oh, I have to forget this. It's time to think about myself, about my own goodness. No more pain and tears. Enough is enough. Sudah lama makan hati berulam jantung dek fikirkan kebaikan orang lain. :)

I don't dare to say it here. Because I still, being nice despite the the biggest lies and betrayal they did to me all these years. I think I deserved an award for being the most tolerate and patient girl in the universe, I shall say. :)

No matter what they did, Allah itu maha Adil. Sabar itu adalah separuh dari Imanku...dan kesabaran itu adalah anugerah yang terbaik bagi diriku..

I'm Strong, Therefore I am

A dark night,

I walk through dark alleys,

Wondering if the stars would shine for me?

Wondering if I would fell and no one will carry me?

Wondering if its going to rain in the middle of my journey?

Wondering if there are hopes at the end of the road?

Oh..I said to myself, "don't worry"!

My tears are my strength,

My prays are my shield,

and my laughs are everything.

I will reach there safely!

I don't have to worry,

Cuz I'm strong,

And therefore I am...

Marriage

Assalamualaikum.

Marriage, wedding . Sounds simple. Get your man, buy your wedding ring, nikah, sanding, and that's it, you are married. I attended my cousin's wedding last saturday and sunday. Unfortunately, she's at my age. It means that I have to answer thousand of questions from my aunties,uncles,grandmas,cousins and etc. 'Kau beli lagi?? Dah ada calon? Dah kumpol duit nak kawin? boifren sape? umor brape? orang mane?" ....... urgh, panas telinga. Terpaksalah faking smile. huhu..

The reason I wanna talk about marriage is because, I received a silly message on Facebook from a total stranger asking my hands for marriage. He said "Boleh saya masuk meminang awak?" ..Senang-senang jee. haha. Geli hati. I instantly reply. "eh, mana boleh, I already engaged". tett. tipu sunat. Block him from my list. huhu.

How can people simply ajak orang kawin? So random. Poor guy, I think he desperately needs a bride. I hope he'll find someone saying 'yes' to him.

Previously, I thought that marriage is a simple thing. To tie the knot between 2 persons and stepping into 'halal' relationship as encourage by Islam. And then I started to get excited to get married when few of my friends sent their wedding invitations to me. Uh tak aciii,nak kawen jugak...huhu However. the excitement turn over when I think about the expenses that I have to bear for the wedding itself and most important is the responsibility after getting married. Dasyat tue weh..hmmmm..[kejap je excited -_-! ]

I personally think that it is very difficult to find the perfect husband for myself. Regardless of how many years I have been into relationship with someone, I still find that i'ts hard to find 'chemistry' with someone I love, like or whatever.. Chemistry is very important as it determine how you communicate with your spouse. Communications with my loved one always turned out very bad, and at the end we begun to quarrel about the simplest thing ever. I'm quite a bad tempered person and when I reached the boiling point, I got mad easily and started to throw tantrum. Well, all women are over-emotional right? so, the blame is not on me. huhu.....and he, on the other hand, is a 'whatever-I don't care' person. We have tried to fix this problem..but I don't think we managed to solve it until today. That makes me worry. Can't we stand this forever after we got married? Woah..kawin itu SCARY.

Recently I have been reading articles and news about how people easily divorced after sometime they got married. I am 100% an anti-divorce person. The lame excuses for people who getting divorced is "takda jodoh, jodoh tak panjang, tak serasi lagi". Oh, I think when you found someone that you are going to love for the rest of your life, decided to get married and live happily.... he or she is your jodoh. Now when you don't love him or her anymore, you said that 'xda jodoh and x serasi' It's quite worrying. I hope my spouse won't say that to me later on...

My vission and mission in marriage are 'say no to divorce' and 'family yg diberkati Allah s.w.t'. InsyaAllah, I'll try to achieve my mission and vission..Seperti mencari sebutir berlian dalam pasir..eceh gitu..

Boring jugak cakap psl kawin nie. Oklah bye..zzzzzzz