Sabar itu Imanku

Assalamualaikum.

Life has been quite unfair to me in recent years. Some people are just too lucky in their life. They have everything they want, though they didn't deserve it at all. Yet, I am here, still struggling to suit myself to the biggest changed in my life. I too, have feelings. Why they treat me badly. Was it because I was being too nice to them? Was it wrong being nice? I just don't get it.

Oh, I have to forget this. It's time to think about myself, about my own goodness. No more pain and tears. Enough is enough. Sudah lama makan hati berulam jantung dek fikirkan kebaikan orang lain. :)

I don't dare to say it here. Because I still, being nice despite the the biggest lies and betrayal they did to me all these years. I think I deserved an award for being the most tolerate and patient girl in the universe, I shall say. :)

No matter what they did, Allah itu maha Adil. Sabar itu adalah separuh dari Imanku...dan kesabaran itu adalah anugerah yang terbaik bagi diriku..

I'm Strong, Therefore I am

A dark night,

I walk through dark alleys,

Wondering if the stars would shine for me?

Wondering if I would fell and no one will carry me?

Wondering if its going to rain in the middle of my journey?

Wondering if there are hopes at the end of the road?

Oh..I said to myself, "don't worry"!

My tears are my strength,

My prays are my shield,

and my laughs are everything.

I will reach there safely!

I don't have to worry,

Cuz I'm strong,

And therefore I am...

Marriage

Assalamualaikum.

Marriage, wedding . Sounds simple. Get your man, buy your wedding ring, nikah, sanding, and that's it, you are married. I attended my cousin's wedding last saturday and sunday. Unfortunately, she's at my age. It means that I have to answer thousand of questions from my aunties,uncles,grandmas,cousins and etc. 'Kau beli lagi?? Dah ada calon? Dah kumpol duit nak kawin? boifren sape? umor brape? orang mane?" ....... urgh, panas telinga. Terpaksalah faking smile. huhu..

The reason I wanna talk about marriage is because, I received a silly message on Facebook from a total stranger asking my hands for marriage. He said "Boleh saya masuk meminang awak?" ..Senang-senang jee. haha. Geli hati. I instantly reply. "eh, mana boleh, I already engaged". tett. tipu sunat. Block him from my list. huhu.

How can people simply ajak orang kawin? So random. Poor guy, I think he desperately needs a bride. I hope he'll find someone saying 'yes' to him.

Previously, I thought that marriage is a simple thing. To tie the knot between 2 persons and stepping into 'halal' relationship as encourage by Islam. And then I started to get excited to get married when few of my friends sent their wedding invitations to me. Uh tak aciii,nak kawen jugak...huhu However. the excitement turn over when I think about the expenses that I have to bear for the wedding itself and most important is the responsibility after getting married. Dasyat tue weh..hmmmm..[kejap je excited -_-! ]

I personally think that it is very difficult to find the perfect husband for myself. Regardless of how many years I have been into relationship with someone, I still find that i'ts hard to find 'chemistry' with someone I love, like or whatever.. Chemistry is very important as it determine how you communicate with your spouse. Communications with my loved one always turned out very bad, and at the end we begun to quarrel about the simplest thing ever. I'm quite a bad tempered person and when I reached the boiling point, I got mad easily and started to throw tantrum. Well, all women are over-emotional right? so, the blame is not on me. huhu.....and he, on the other hand, is a 'whatever-I don't care' person. We have tried to fix this problem..but I don't think we managed to solve it until today. That makes me worry. Can't we stand this forever after we got married? Woah..kawin itu SCARY.

Recently I have been reading articles and news about how people easily divorced after sometime they got married. I am 100% an anti-divorce person. The lame excuses for people who getting divorced is "takda jodoh, jodoh tak panjang, tak serasi lagi". Oh, I think when you found someone that you are going to love for the rest of your life, decided to get married and live happily.... he or she is your jodoh. Now when you don't love him or her anymore, you said that 'xda jodoh and x serasi' It's quite worrying. I hope my spouse won't say that to me later on...

My vission and mission in marriage are 'say no to divorce' and 'family yg diberkati Allah s.w.t'. InsyaAllah, I'll try to achieve my mission and vission..Seperti mencari sebutir berlian dalam pasir..eceh gitu..

Boring jugak cakap psl kawin nie. Oklah bye..zzzzzzz